"...in the great desert in whose form my life stretches out before me."
Marguerite Duras, "L'Amant"
navigating with this illness so difficult. I often don't know how I'm going to feel from one moment to the next. planning is difficult.
sometimes things seem amorphous; planning seems like a shot in the dark, rather, many shots in the dark, hoping one lands somewhere.
i feel calm today. processing emotions from yesterday helped. going to the gym was good, too.
there is a "me," underneath it all. thank goodness, it was gone for so long i'm sure it had been permanently erased. it's wonderful when people can see the difference and i don't have to carry around the burden of helping them sort it out.
i'm tired of being my own PR agent.
maybe if i get enough of this poison out of my system, i will see the real me too.
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